silverthorne (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
silverthorne) wrote2010-10-17 04:59 pm
silverthorne) wrote2010-10-17 04:59 pm
Entry tags:
Headed Skyward
So.
It's not easy to find out a good friend has died suddenly, nor is it easy to find out in a round about way. But, that isn't what this post is about.
I'm not going to be very poetic about this, and I apologize to anyone who reads this who was expecting another remembrance written by someone with a fine control of the pen and the words that flow through it. All I have is memories, and not a small amount of tears, and I'm afraid that will have to do.
I met Ruthie through role playing at Sages of Chaos, by dint of my character managing to catch the attention of her character when wishing her good luck on something she was about to do. For whatever reason, it was enough to start three plus years of incredible CR between![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
derek_bliss and shiratorijun. Through those two characters, we laughed, cried, had a lot of fun, managed to come up with an OTP that seemed to make other people happy to read...and in a way helped both of us heal in a very real way from things in real life that had left their wounds and scars on both of us.
We both had real life problems when we met that resonated with each other, and a lot of times, we'd wind up being shoulders for each other, lending strength and condolences...and later, when botb of us were ready to get out of our respective bad situations, we were each others' cheering section and comforting rock. She was one of the few I'd call 'sister', and even when we'd lose track of each other for long periods of time, I'd still think of her and wonder how she was doing. When we'd once again get into contact, it was as if we'd never stopped.
On a grander scale, she was an activist of the strongest kind. She lead, not usually by lecture, but by showing...pictures...words...her own frustrations sometimes. But she was always into what was important to her, and her actions never denied that fact. Add to that the strength of a determined lioness, and she was unstoppable. She taught me a lot about PoC, why it was important to listen and not assume...and that I have a long way to go. Even so, she was still my friend, even when I stumbled so badly I'm sure her teeth hurt from the gritting--testament to her patience and graciousness for dealing with people.
I'll be honest, I feel a part of me is gone, and in a way, it is. That familiar voice is silenced now, except in memories. The ideas we shared between us, and someday planned to share with the world, are now halted on her end. And, at the risk of sounding crazy, I now know exactly how my character would feel if he had lost Jun during play (or plot). It's a void.
But I also know this: Were she still here, she'd hug me, she'd let me cry, and then she'd remind me that it's all right to go on...and in fact that I should go on. Things do not stop at death, and neither do people.
Ruthy, you are now truly your name, and I will miss you. You were too young, but I also know that where you are now, is where you should be. I hope all of us that you leave behind will still give you reason to smile where you are. Peace, my friend. I'll see you on the flip side.
It's not easy to find out a good friend has died suddenly, nor is it easy to find out in a round about way. But, that isn't what this post is about.
I'm not going to be very poetic about this, and I apologize to anyone who reads this who was expecting another remembrance written by someone with a fine control of the pen and the words that flow through it. All I have is memories, and not a small amount of tears, and I'm afraid that will have to do.
I met Ruthie through role playing at Sages of Chaos, by dint of my character managing to catch the attention of her character when wishing her good luck on something she was about to do. For whatever reason, it was enough to start three plus years of incredible CR between
derek_bliss and shiratorijun. Through those two characters, we laughed, cried, had a lot of fun, managed to come up with an OTP that seemed to make other people happy to read...and in a way helped both of us heal in a very real way from things in real life that had left their wounds and scars on both of us.We both had real life problems when we met that resonated with each other, and a lot of times, we'd wind up being shoulders for each other, lending strength and condolences...and later, when botb of us were ready to get out of our respective bad situations, we were each others' cheering section and comforting rock. She was one of the few I'd call 'sister', and even when we'd lose track of each other for long periods of time, I'd still think of her and wonder how she was doing. When we'd once again get into contact, it was as if we'd never stopped.
On a grander scale, she was an activist of the strongest kind. She lead, not usually by lecture, but by showing...pictures...words...her own frustrations sometimes. But she was always into what was important to her, and her actions never denied that fact. Add to that the strength of a determined lioness, and she was unstoppable. She taught me a lot about PoC, why it was important to listen and not assume...and that I have a long way to go. Even so, she was still my friend, even when I stumbled so badly I'm sure her teeth hurt from the gritting--testament to her patience and graciousness for dealing with people.
I'll be honest, I feel a part of me is gone, and in a way, it is. That familiar voice is silenced now, except in memories. The ideas we shared between us, and someday planned to share with the world, are now halted on her end. And, at the risk of sounding crazy, I now know exactly how my character would feel if he had lost Jun during play (or plot). It's a void.
But I also know this: Were she still here, she'd hug me, she'd let me cry, and then she'd remind me that it's all right to go on...and in fact that I should go on. Things do not stop at death, and neither do people.
Ruthy, you are now truly your name, and I will miss you. You were too young, but I also know that where you are now, is where you should be. I hope all of us that you leave behind will still give you reason to smile where you are. Peace, my friend. I'll see you on the flip side.
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