Looking back

[silverthorne]

So I spent a good portion of my computer time yesterday messing with my real life LJ for a new look (Let me know if it's too hard to read, guys. I'm not 100% happy with it, so am willing to change out the background for a lighter and/or more eye friendly image for the LJ background), and decided to go ahead and tag the daylights out of things.

Some of the entries were just...well...wow.

It's really hard to to believe just how incredibly depressed I was, no later than even a year ago. Depressed and really, really mentally wacko.

I still have some of those problems--still dealing with certain issues, still aiming for certain goals that I haven't quite yet achieved (but am getting so much closer to!), but the mental space I'm in is different nowadays. I won't say 'completely'--because sometimes I still 'go there', and I can certainly still relate to that very unhappy, ready to throw in the towel, woman.

But it is rather shocking to look back and go 'Oh my god, was that me?!' and then answer 'Yes--yes that was.'

I'm still kinda surpised that I'm not in the same place as I used to be. When you hit bottom and stay there long enough, you get pretty sure there's no way to scramble back up.

But I'm managing it, and it's pretty mind blowing.

Wow.

Go me, I guess. *g*

Comments

[paradisacorbasi.livejournal.com]

The background is a little hard to read the black text against.

Other than that, it looks nice.

And yeah, I understand about being so far down you become convinced there's no way back up.

Glad you found your way up again.

[silverthorne.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I think part of it was due to getting to hang out with cool people on the net. Cool people who are also varied in opinions, interests, and temperments. It helps to remind me there's more to life than my little corner of the universe, which seems to be a key element to keep me from focusing too much on the inside (in the bad, deconstructive way). ^^

I'll go take the transparent affect off until I can get home and mess with the background images. I'm wondering if making it lighter will help, or if I'd be better off just making a new one with less colors across the spectrum. Thanks.

[ebonbird.livejournal.com]

I find it readable.

And yeah. It's strange how hard things can be from one perspective, but then, coming out of the dark is a beautiful thing.

[silverthorne.livejournal.com]

*nods* I did too for the most part, but in some areas where the grey is, it's not working well, and this particular LJ design doesn't allow me to fix the background image in place so you can scroll the words into readable areas.

Yeah, I'm relieved I'm for the most part out of it. It's an ugly place down there.

*Hugs*

How you doing?