silverthorne

Mate: OMG! Long Grass. Must Mow before we get charged for landlord doing it!

Me: Right. When it stops raining, there will be mowage.

Day One: Rain. It's a no-go, Boss.
Day Two: More rain. Suck.
Day Three: Just enough rain to make it too wet to mow. Also; not enough time before mate is home. Woe.
Day Four: No Rain! JOY! I can MOW!

The Great Outdoors: Heh heh heh. NooB!

Me: *Mows!*

Lawnmover: *Mows!*

Breeze: *Blows!*

Grass and Assorted other Living Things: *Goes up the nose!*

Me: *Finish Mowing*

Me: *Notices eyes are puffy*

Me: *Also realizes that she hasn't taken the Godly Benedryl Of Not Choking and Stuff*

Ragweed: *POUNCES!!!!*

Me: AAAAAAAAAGH!!!!! *Puffs up, starts wheezing, and eyes start tearing up like crazy. Also; trying to lock mower back up in said condition...Takes An Eternity!!!*

Ragweed: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! You foolish fool! *More pouncing!*

Mower: *finally locked!*

Door: *rushed through by someone doing a fair imitation of a line-backer!*

Clothes: *Flung everywhere!*

Me: AGH CAN'T BREATHE ITCHY OH GOD GET IT OFF GET IT OFF OH PLEASE STOP!!!!

Shower: *TURNED THE FUCK ON!*

Me: *grabs pill on the way in, gets in the water and SCRUBS LIKE THE DICKENS!!!!*

Ragweed: Oh NOES! I am BEING WASHED OFF!!!! HELP MEEEEEEEE!!!

Me: Sighs in relief as nasty nasty outsidy shit is washed off and she can breathe again. Ah...bliss. Yes.