Dear Ma Nature:

I love cold weather; you know this. I like being out in it.

And yeah, I started my life (twelve years worth) in New Jersey, where they have things like more than half an inch of snow at any given time in winter. So, yeah, I know how to walk on ice and snow, and even how to run across a frozen lake without killing my silly ass.

However, walking on ice does not equal driving on the shit. I do not have that skillset--I lived in the desert for that part of my learning life!

So please, no more 'Surprise, Buttsecks!' ice storms right before I have to go to work in the morning, 'kay?

Please?

Thank you.

Your devoted child,
She-who-made-it-in-but-really-wish-she-hadn't.