Sometimes...
May. 9th, 2008 10:49 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
I wonder.
Something nice always seems to happen to me around Mother's Day. Like the roses. I mean, yeah, it's not OMG!RANDOM STRANGER GAVE YOU ROSES OUT OF GOODNESS OF THEIR HEART!!!! nice, but it's still nice. A pick me up, if you will. It's never big, but it always happens.
So sometimes, I wonder if it isn't the little one that I didn't have the chance to have sending things my way. You know?
Maybe, maybe not. But the realization of the timing at least is bitter sweet, and sad. But...good. I didn't get to be a mom, but I still...feel like one sometimes. Even though it didn't get that far.
I still maintain something is looking out for me anyway, even if I don't have my youthful assertions anymore that I know exactly what it is.
Anyway, yeah. /speculation of the nature of the universe.
Something nice always seems to happen to me around Mother's Day. Like the roses. I mean, yeah, it's not OMG!RANDOM STRANGER GAVE YOU ROSES OUT OF GOODNESS OF THEIR HEART!!!! nice, but it's still nice. A pick me up, if you will. It's never big, but it always happens.
So sometimes, I wonder if it isn't the little one that I didn't have the chance to have sending things my way. You know?
Maybe, maybe not. But the realization of the timing at least is bitter sweet, and sad. But...good. I didn't get to be a mom, but I still...feel like one sometimes. Even though it didn't get that far.
I still maintain something is looking out for me anyway, even if I don't have my youthful assertions anymore that I know exactly what it is.
Anyway, yeah. /speculation of the nature of the universe.
no subject
Date: 2008-05-09 05:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-05-10 02:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-05-09 07:42 pm (UTC)And the possibilities are endless, and infinite.
*Many hugs*
no subject
Date: 2008-05-10 02:51 am (UTC)You know, if I'd stood up to my mom, the kid would be coming up on 16 years old this year.