Fellow cat lovers--a few questions?

[silverthorne]

Help me out here, guys? (posted this to cat_lovers as well)

So, I adopted Ula last Saturday. She and Foot are still hissy and growly at each other, although a brand new Feliway plug in last night seems to have helped little bit. I figure that part's just going to take time. Because, yeah, cats and all.

But...I do have a few concerns with Ula, mostly because the cats I had before her (including Foot) were always young enough that any unwanted behavior was easily rectified and corrected. Ula is already two years old though, and a full grown adult (and also very used to her former foster home rules, which I'm finding out differed a bit from how my own home is run. Poor Ula. :/)

Anyway, problem number one is that apparently, Ula was permitted to gently nip when being pet. Which is something I never allowed with my own furry 'kids'. Of course, I do the 'stop moving and say ow' in a firm voice with her, which does make her stop, but also startles her because she's still a little unsteady in her new home. I'm wondering if there's a gentler way to train her out of that...or even if I can at this point.

Second is that she LOVES to be petted...for about a minute, and then she'll jerk away and stare at my hand and sniff it before settling down again. I'm not sure if she's one of those cats that over-stimulates easily, or if she's still just that nervous in her new home. I'm also wondering if I'm going to end up getting tagged from it--because she will roll onto her side and raise her paw sometimes, which is a precursor to getting smacked. She hasn't yet, but I'm not really sure she won't, either.

Third and last, is if I reach for her head and my palm happens to be positioned 'overhead' from her POV, she flinches and pulls away at first...which makes me think she got hit in the head/face a lot in the past (Hopefully just by the other cats and/or by accident if it was by a human), but also concerns me, because, again, although I know she's new, she seems to be a lot more nervy than most cats I've known/raised/owned in the past.

Anyone have any thoughts, ideas, suggestions?

Comments

[cluegirl.livejournal.com]

This sounds a lot like some of Mithril's behavioral problems when we first got him here. I've told you about him, I think; he was found in the street after he'd been hit as a kitten, and then abandoned at the vet's for two months, until the rescue operation took him on. He'd gone what they call 'cage crazy' by then, and was actually more dangerous than a feral cat, because he was always sure he was about to be grabbed and molested somehow.

The foster mom managed to get him back around to being adoptable, but when he came to me, he was still pretty well convinced that he was a trauma victim -- he bit, lashed out without provocation, flinched, ran, and hid whenever someone moved unexpectedly... and he raided the trash, sprayed in the hallway, and wandered at will all over the kitchen counters.

What I did to socialize him was this: I treated him like any other cat, NOT like a trauma victim. I grabbed him the same way I grabbed Godric or Hilfy, and petted him the same way, and if he nibbled, I nipped him back and said "no!" then let him run away and sulk, but ferreted him out for pets in a few minutes. When he lashed out, I smacked back, and yelled, but then just left him to his own devices to sulk it out till he was done. I used the spray bottle for long range offences, and yeah, I did the nose rubbing thing, but the first time was the only one it took for him, so that trend didn't need to continue.

Essentially, what I gave him was a standard, predictable behavior, and consequence pattern he could get used to. Once he got really stroppy with me over cutting his nails, and I had to grab him, and stuff his head into my mouth, but once he took in the fact that I could really hurt him if I cared to, but that I didn't, and I wasn't likely to unless he pushed the rules too far, he never pushed like that again.

There are some who would call what I do with him abusive, but the people who met (and were scratched/bit by) him when he was a newcomer here, and who meet the cuddly, friendly, talkative wiseass cat he is now don't seem to think he shows any signs of it.

Essemtially, I think you should act like her flinching is no big deal. Don't draw her attention to it, or change your behavior, because you want her to get used to you as you are, not just on your gentlest manners. As for the biting, try biting (gently) back, or flicking the ear. When they interact with one another, and one nips a fellow who isn't keen on it, what happens? A slap. A warning swat, or a gentle nip, they understand, and will process without too much trouble or trauma at all. They certainly understand it better than you acting like prey, which is what freezing up, and vocalizing does.

So there's my two cents.
Give her time, and don't change how you're behaving, aside from enforcing your limits. She'll get used to them reasonably quickly, I think you'll find.

[janewt.livejournal.com]

Well, what I would do if I had a cat like that, who switched easily into defensive mode, would be to make sure I stopped patting her before she rolls over and raises her paw. Get a sense of her limits, and stop while the going's good, so that she doesn't have any negative associations with it. Just positives. When she jerks away and sniffs, that's probably a sign that it's a good time to stop. Honestly, I wouldn't push things past where she's comfortable. Cats have a strong streak of prey-animal behavior in them, naturally.