silverthorne

Ah yes, the grand adventure of contact lenses. Working on week two, and still loving it and not having any problems with the extended wear. Probably helps though that I take them out twice a day to rinse them off anyway, and decided that four days is quite enough for eyes and lenses to be best buds.

Which of course, entails taking the little buggers out and putting them back in every so often.

Let me make this clear--I have a severe aversion to anything getting anywhere near my eyes.

This makes for interesting discussions with my wayward body parts.

Me: *Grasps eyelids as directed by doctor and prys them WIDE apart to get them out of the way* Okay you, here we go. Lense in!

Eye: What? Wait! You're pointing at me! AUGH! Get away from me, you psychotic wench! *Tries to close, which is hard to do since the fingers are doing their job at the moment.*

Me: No, no, calm down. It's just a contact lense--won't hurt a bit. Will help you to see better than you have in well over fifteen years, in fact.

Eye: No! Hell, no, lady! I know you're lying to me! Why? Because that big 'ol finger is pointed Right At Me! I'm not stupid! I know what you're gonna do!!! NONONONONONONO!!!!

*At this point, while the fingertip is moving in, the upper lid slips free of its confinement and snaps down in a valiant attempt at protecting it's charge. The lense trips over the lip of the lid, and promptly folds over on itself, sticking to the finger in a panicked lump.

Fingers: Oops. Sorry, boss!

C!Lense: Ow! I've been struck! Lady, I'm mortally wounded here!

Me: CRAP! *Unfolds lense gently. Recleans both sides and tries again.*

Eye: OhShit! Here we go again! *rolls around frantically* HEEEEEELLLLLPPPPPP MEEEEEEEEE!!!!

Me: Cut that out!

Fingers (To Eyelid): Hey! Get back here, you slippery little bastard!

Eye Lids: Wheeee! It's Fun To Blink This Fast!

Lense: Oh hell! I'm gonna die, and it's gonna be all your fault!

Me: Gah! Everyone Just Stop! It's just a little lense! Dammit I Want To Be Able To See!!!

Various Body Parts and One Panicked Lense: STFU, Lady!

Fingers: (Grabs eyelid once more and holds it WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY up): AHA! Gotcha! Quick! Stuff it in before it escapes again!

Me: *STUFFS! And barely misses blinking the lense back out again.* Whew.

Other Eye: You won't take me that easily, lady! (Starts blinking furiously).

Me: *sigh*

Fingers: Bring it, Bitch!

*Cue Mortal Kombat music for next round....*