silverthorne: (Feathers in her Hair)
[personal profile] silverthorne


So...yeah.

Still not feeling the urge/want to RP anymore. At this point, I think I'm holding onto Derek and Foot in Luceti because, well, I tend to hold tight to things long after they should have been let go. (Anyone who was around for the years I spent with the ex knows this.)

It's a combination of things:

I love the limited CR I have, but the setting just isn't doing it for me. I want to play with the characters...don't really care about the setting anymore, though.

I feel frustrated (I've made enough posts about why on Plurk, so I won't go over it again here).

Honestly, yes, I do read the anoncomms, and honestly, seeing so many people being ass wipes to and about each other just makes me want to take everyone over my knee and give them a good paddling, and then get the hell out of dodge. (and yes, I know this is easily solved by just not going to those places anymore. It would also give me more time to do other things. I'm having train-wreck syndrome, so I'll have to get over that first.) Which tells me I need to keep reading this a few more times.

Which leads to: I feel old. Old as in 'get off my lawn you damn kids' old. But I'm not ready to retire. I just...don't like where I am in RP land.

I...think I want to musebox and that's it. I was happiest in RP when I played at Dear Multiverse and then the people I hit it off with and I would come up with our own plots and just go with it when we felt like it. There was ongoing plot, there was crack, there was seriousness, there was a solid timeline, but it was still free form and was dependent on people coming up with their own plots and other people joining in; not just playing slice of life plots until mods or a mod-approved player plot came down the line.

I want a solid world to RP in, yes, but...yeah. I don't want total unmoderated play, but the opportunity to come up with stuff that doesn't HAVE to follow the wants of the few people who run the game I'm in is something I'd like. Or at least a little more wiggle room and imagination, as long as the ideas can mesh between players and mods.

I dunno.

I'm not sure I'll be back to Luceti. I'm really not. Not really sure I want to go game hunting either. But I still want to play Derek and Foot. Just..not sure where. And I pretty much suspect that if I drop the game? I'm pretty much killing off the chance at any sort of lasting play with people. It's not a good feeling. I feel like it's 'muddle on and hope it gets better' or 'drop and close this chapter in your life'.

And with that, I'm done with the....whatever this is.

Date: 2012-04-28 05:18 pm (UTC)
ardath_rekha: (Default)
From: [personal profile] ardath_rekha
I miss that, too. I know that in my case, a lot of it has to do with my mad schedule -- I just don't have the time or energy for structured gaming with my academic load and the obligations I have to fit into the rest of my non-academic time (even if I want -- and periodically try -- to play anyway, which seems to generally result in the way you're feeling right now, too).

But I also feel like everything's gotten way too formal and regimented. Like... most of the games now seem to have firewalls up that prevent their characters from interacting with out-of-game characters in any way that can have meaningful effects. That's way different from when I was a more active player, because back then, the players could go to DM or Sages to grab backup to augment their teams for a mission or a battle, and characters in MAHS could date people from other universes and acquire and use PINpoints. And then suddenly all of the games started adding rules about how nothing that happened outside of the comm counted, and that seemed to kill activity in the multiversal crossover comms faster than anything else.

I have a character concept I particularly love, and have really wanted to play for a while -- a girl named Bonnie who's an orphan on several levels, because not only did she lose her family but her tie to her original universe. Her only steady "companion" is an AI device that can open portals between universes, and so she's become a kind of multiversal nomad, exploring all of the infinite possibilities of creation (and secretly hoping she can find a universe where she's the one who was lost and her family will be there, alive and well, willing to welcome her back). But because she can come and go at will between universes (and she has "favorites" that she's "bookmarked" for repeat visits) there are really almost no places I can play her. Because the ground rule for most of the games out there right now would kill that fundamental aspect of her characterization and most of the multiversal comms now seem to be set up to accommodate the idea that nothing that happens in them really "counts" toward character development.

So I've been really "Blah!" too. Sometimes I feel like it's the games that changed, and sometimes I feel like I'm the one who changed, but I don't remember feeling so vexed and resentful about the "breakneck pace" of RPing back when I was just tossing characters into the multiverse. I might be old, too. But it seems like RPing has become an "uphill in the snow, both ways" prospect now. :/

Date: 2012-04-28 06:47 pm (UTC)
rather_be_surfing: (Default)
From: [personal profile] rather_be_surfing
yeah, I'll admit too that I have enough interests outside of RP that I dont want to have to be forced to decide between rp and, oh, say, playing RIFT with my Dad on Saturday, you know?

Also, I went ahead and made the musebox: [community profile] ratherbesurfing. :)

If you have a comment/suggestions on the rules/faqs, etc, lemme know.

Date: 2012-04-28 07:08 pm (UTC)
ardath_rekha: (Default)
From: [personal profile] ardath_rekha
Very awesome! I'm about... two weeks from being able to do much other than pine after RP stuff while writing papers, but this looks lovely. :)

Date: 2012-04-28 07:11 pm (UTC)
rather_be_surfing: (Default)
From: [personal profile] rather_be_surfing
Join when you can, if you want. It'll likely be snails pace at least for a little while

Date: 2012-04-28 07:35 pm (UTC)
hickumu: (Queenly)
From: [personal profile] hickumu
For what it's worth, you're not killing off any chances with me. I didn't know you were a musebox type of person, is all. You're welcome to join mine, if you want ([community profile] the_magic_shop). I suck at coming up with posting ideas, nowadays, but feel free to post if you get something.

Trite as it may sound to say, I've known the feeling. I'll go between wanting to app back and wanting to just ward Luceti off with holy water. It is trainwreck syndrome. I know I'd be so much happier not checking anoncomm or ACJ, and yet, I know shit goes on there and I can't look away. Sucks, man. I don't want to play with some of these people, and the fact that I don't know who they are is even more disturbing.

IDK. I have another game, and it's slow, and it's chill (rarely gets mentioned on anoncomm or commented to when it does) and museboxing seems to be working out for me. No reason it can't for you.

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silverthorne

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