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I'm Not Dead (The Reprise)
Jun. 27th, 2010 10:48 pmMight be a distant cousin to Why Aren't You Dead?, except in a different light.
Anyhow, yes, I'm okay. Work has been trying to kill me, depression was trying to tell me that curling up in a ball and never coming back out into the Big Scary World is a good idea, and...stuff.
I have been RPing on LJ on my favorite guy, although even that went kinda south for a bit while I convinced myself that I Was Doing It Wrong somehow, and Everyone Hated Me...that was an adventure. And my writing muse went right out the damn window and refuses to come back while I'm like this.
The good news? We got a new, extra guy to help at work these last two weeks, (although I'm still stressed enough to loathe my job at the moment, and it's making my shoulder act up again), I'm feeling better about my RP, and I'm actually starting to make headway in the "Let's Sock Back Some Money For ThatApocolyptic Rainy Day" department. At least until the car finally blows up, or something. And I've started making maps and planning plot for an RP...that I actually will likely never get off the ground. >>
PS:I want a pony Winning the lottery would be nice right about now; it would make quitting my job and writing my ass off all day every day so much more feasible.
Um...anyway, yes I am alive. Thank you and *hugs* to those of you who came looking--I apologize for not responding at the time. I was honestly fucked up enough that it seemed...I dunno what it seemed like. I will however try and write you guys back this week with, you know, something resembling a real conversation (even my dad has only been getting 'I hate my life, I hate my job, god this sucks' for a few months now. :/).
Love and hugs and stuffs.
PPS: Still love you guys; just haven't been in the 'love zone' lately myself.
Anyhow, yes, I'm okay. Work has been trying to kill me, depression was trying to tell me that curling up in a ball and never coming back out into the Big Scary World is a good idea, and...stuff.
I have been RPing on LJ on my favorite guy, although even that went kinda south for a bit while I convinced myself that I Was Doing It Wrong somehow, and Everyone Hated Me...that was an adventure. And my writing muse went right out the damn window and refuses to come back while I'm like this.
The good news? We got a new, extra guy to help at work these last two weeks, (although I'm still stressed enough to loathe my job at the moment, and it's making my shoulder act up again), I'm feeling better about my RP, and I'm actually starting to make headway in the "Let's Sock Back Some Money For That
PS:
Um...anyway, yes I am alive. Thank you and *hugs* to those of you who came looking--I apologize for not responding at the time. I was honestly fucked up enough that it seemed...I dunno what it seemed like. I will however try and write you guys back this week with, you know, something resembling a real conversation (even my dad has only been getting 'I hate my life, I hate my job, god this sucks' for a few months now. :/).
Love and hugs and stuffs.
PPS: Still love you guys; just haven't been in the 'love zone' lately myself.
Earlier today...
Jul. 6th, 2009 11:05 pmI started writing a post in my head during work that I was going to put up on the journal.
Decided about halfway through the inner monologue that it was pretty much whiny emo-fest material shit nobody needed to see.
Feel a little better now, but not great. General gist?
Not happy with my life. Mostly having to do with 'wah, I have no one' (sparked by 'if I can't take care of myself, especially later in life, there's no one to pick up the slack, so I'm pretty much fucked, thanks.').
My eye is infected again, and I don't want this being a yearly thing. And it's pissing me off that my vision has gone south. Again.
I am tired. Physically and emotionally. And I really don't know if/when I'm going to get a break from it.
My three day weekend was pretty much undone half an hour into work, since all the stuff that supposedly wasn't going to show up on Friday, did. Plus a full compliment of shit for today, plus even more stuff right when I thought I could finally relax an hour before my shift was supposed to end.
I need a hug and a long break from life. (Then again, who doesn't?)
...okay, I whined anyway. Sorry about that.
Decided about halfway through the inner monologue that it was pretty much whiny emo-fest material shit nobody needed to see.
Feel a little better now, but not great. General gist?
Not happy with my life. Mostly having to do with 'wah, I have no one' (sparked by 'if I can't take care of myself, especially later in life, there's no one to pick up the slack, so I'm pretty much fucked, thanks.').
My eye is infected again, and I don't want this being a yearly thing. And it's pissing me off that my vision has gone south. Again.
I am tired. Physically and emotionally. And I really don't know if/when I'm going to get a break from it.
My three day weekend was pretty much undone half an hour into work, since all the stuff that supposedly wasn't going to show up on Friday, did. Plus a full compliment of shit for today, plus even more stuff right when I thought I could finally relax an hour before my shift was supposed to end.
I need a hug and a long break from life. (Then again, who doesn't?)
...okay, I whined anyway. Sorry about that.
It's that they tend to drain me of energy for anything else once I get off work, especially on super-busy days where I end up working from 6am til 3:45 pm. And today was one of those days.
I took a bath when I came home, resisted the urge to take a nap (because lately that means I'm down until at least 7), and ate a steak and some strawberries (I'm saving the veggie part of dinner until after class since I'll likely be hungry. I know I was last time, and the more light weight but filling an 8 o'clock meal is, the better.).
I was all psyched for class this morning. Now I'm just kinda tired and 'blah' and really just want to park myself in front of the tube with vid-game controller in hand.
Still, doing stretches (even though I can't remember some of the ones Master Lee showed me, I'm doing the ones I do remember. Figure it can't hurt if I do them twice in one night, right?) in an effort to motivate myself. It's sort of working, but part of me is still just 'bleh'. I know myself well enough though that as long as I get dressed and shove myself out the door at class time, it'll be all right. Of course, until then? Bleh.
^^;
I took a bath when I came home, resisted the urge to take a nap (because lately that means I'm down until at least 7), and ate a steak and some strawberries (I'm saving the veggie part of dinner until after class since I'll likely be hungry. I know I was last time, and the more light weight but filling an 8 o'clock meal is, the better.).
I was all psyched for class this morning. Now I'm just kinda tired and 'blah' and really just want to park myself in front of the tube with vid-game controller in hand.
Still, doing stretches (even though I can't remember some of the ones Master Lee showed me, I'm doing the ones I do remember. Figure it can't hurt if I do them twice in one night, right?) in an effort to motivate myself. It's sort of working, but part of me is still just 'bleh'. I know myself well enough though that as long as I get dressed and shove myself out the door at class time, it'll be all right. Of course, until then? Bleh.
^^;
My Monthly Cry...
Jul. 18th, 2007 01:25 pmOh fucking GOD, I HATE being a GIRL!
GAH!
*Pops four ibuprophen pills*
:P
GAH!
*Pops four ibuprophen pills*
:P
You know you're not feeling well when...
Jul. 11th, 2007 05:26 pmYou've put just a 'touch' too much cayenne pepper in the chili, and you're still snarfing down the juice (and wanting more, even after a full bowl with plenty of juice) like it's going out of style.
Bleh.
Still. Tasty.
Bleh.
Still. Tasty.
I wonder if I should worry.
I left an open and mostly full can of Enviga on my work desk overnight.
...it's still fizzy.
In other news, the delivery that's supposed to be here every Wednesday by the time I get here at 6am, so that I have time to get all of the eight-plus pallets unloaded and up within my alloted eight hour shift (we're not allowed overtime due to budget), is not here yet.
...And won't be until ten or eleven--a full four hours later, and right in the middle of UPS, FedEx, DHL, and a humongous (and higly expensive and refrigerated) lab order from Fisher.
...Yeah. :(
I left an open and mostly full can of Enviga on my work desk overnight.
...it's still fizzy.
In other news, the delivery that's supposed to be here every Wednesday by the time I get here at 6am, so that I have time to get all of the eight-plus pallets unloaded and up within my alloted eight hour shift (we're not allowed overtime due to budget), is not here yet.
...And won't be until ten or eleven--a full four hours later, and right in the middle of UPS, FedEx, DHL, and a humongous (and higly expensive and refrigerated) lab order from Fisher.
...Yeah. :(
Just...yeah.
May. 17th, 2006 06:31 amThere's no arguing with 'Supremist White folks think they have the right to rule everything.'
Any more than there is arguing with 'Illegally immigrating Mexicans/hispanics are ruining our economy'
Or 'the greedy Japanese are destroying the electronics market with their cheap knock-offs'
Or 'Lazy black folk just want the easiest way to make money without having to work for it'.
There just isn't.
But it makes for such LOVELY mental imagery, doesn't it?
Now I remember why I ignore all of it instead of trying to point out a broader view than just the skin color (and the problems that come up when you point just skin color out and use it as the focus). Pots and kettles.
I was taught not even to notice skin color, thanks. The only time I do is when I get hit with some racial reference or another from other folks. Or art, because they teach you 'traits' races have to help the audience recognize what they see. Because every one labels and expects to see labels. Not that I notice that either, except knowing that's why people do it.
Kinda hard to ignore though when it's in your face. I get real aware real fast, and it makes me sad, because then suddenly I realize there's gonna be a huge-ass gap there no matter what. I see humans, not races. Not until you remind me.
So, this melanin-challanged, possibly 'superior' chick (That would be White Chick Who Just May Be A White Supremist--whatever the fuck that is. Not real sure of the criteria, other than being white) is bowing out of such discussions until people learn a little more about just being goddamned human. 'Cause I'm just pissing in the wind, here.
Love you all.
Loud-mouth out.
Any more than there is arguing with 'Illegally immigrating Mexicans/hispanics are ruining our economy'
Or 'the greedy Japanese are destroying the electronics market with their cheap knock-offs'
Or 'Lazy black folk just want the easiest way to make money without having to work for it'.
There just isn't.
But it makes for such LOVELY mental imagery, doesn't it?
Now I remember why I ignore all of it instead of trying to point out a broader view than just the skin color (and the problems that come up when you point just skin color out and use it as the focus). Pots and kettles.
I was taught not even to notice skin color, thanks. The only time I do is when I get hit with some racial reference or another from other folks. Or art, because they teach you 'traits' races have to help the audience recognize what they see. Because every one labels and expects to see labels. Not that I notice that either, except knowing that's why people do it.
Kinda hard to ignore though when it's in your face. I get real aware real fast, and it makes me sad, because then suddenly I realize there's gonna be a huge-ass gap there no matter what. I see humans, not races. Not until you remind me.
So, this melanin-challanged, possibly 'superior' chick (That would be White Chick Who Just May Be A White Supremist--whatever the fuck that is. Not real sure of the criteria, other than being white) is bowing out of such discussions until people learn a little more about just being goddamned human. 'Cause I'm just pissing in the wind, here.
Love you all.
Loud-mouth out.
