silverthorne

Where you just get suddenly hit with something, and it makes you want to stop and cry right there, no matter how silly the reaction is, or how minor, or ridiculous, in the big cycle of life, it is?

Yeah. Got hit with that. That frightening realization that hey, I have no one romantically speaking. And no sibs. So...when I'm really old...it'll just be me.

Cue feeling hollow and like a fuck up and, of course, the 'you're gonna die alone and probably in a home with no money and tons of bills and really it's your fault for being stupid about romance' freak out (valid since, you know, I have senile relatives and a grandma with Alzhiemers).

Fortunately, it mostly passed within a few minutes. Mostly. Still a little bit of gibbering along the lines of 'only friends and family are ever gonna love you' banging around in the back of my head.

I hate it when my brain does that to me.