You get to say comedy movie things when you're bi...

[silverthorne]

So...wore eye make-up to work today (don't fall over dead in shock, folks), since I'm trying to figure out something good for the yearly company shindig--which I've been told I'm going to, no excuses, now that I do not have a controlling, antisocial SO.

Well, I've been asking folks how it looks, because I would really like to not look like a total idiot when I go (and make-up is...well...pretty much a necessity to Big Events, and something I know nothing about. :/)

Anyhow, she looked, and commented 'You better watch out; you're gonna end up attracting a guy...or a girl...or...something." (She knows I'm bi)

My response?

"I think I'm gonna stick with guys right now. I understand them when all they want me for is dick relief. Girls, on the other hand? I keep finding the crazy ones. That's a pretty good sign I should probably leave the women alone, you know?"

...it made her laugh, at any rate.

Comments

[mephron]

Considering the last person I dated broke up with me because a) my friends were 'too weird' and b) I was too 'intense' in the things I liked?

I think my crazy attractor is on too tight.

[silverthorne.livejournal.com]

Or a really bad case of the Stepford Virus.

Geez, wasn't she paying attemtion when you first met? Or was she one of those 'it's okay, honey, I'll fix you right up!' types?

[silverthorne.livejournal.com]

...that was supposed to say 'Or *SHE* has a really bad case of the Stepford Virus'. Geh. Typing skill. I need to learn me some.

[silverthorne.livejournal.com]

Also, my logic is on her head, not yours. If you're gonna date someone, or want to, might want to take a good look before things get to serious and see if what the other person is into and who they know are things you can honestly deal with. Going in with the attitude of 'oh, I hate it, but I'll ignore it for the So's sake', or, worse, 'I know I cna change them in time' is really...stupid.


Everyone is 'weird', and everyone has different 'weird' thresholds. S'up to a person to find out what they can ahead of time, though, to avoid wandering into something they can't handle. (Which is why, I think, I don't believe in Love At First Sight, and would rather do the 'friends first' thing...because what you're falling in love with is a bunch of uncomfirmed impressions at that point. Takes a while to figure out what you really saw...and what you wanted to see.)

[mephron]

We'd known each other for a while, but I think in this case it falls on my head. I didn't recognize how she was, uh, not quite synching with the world around her - she didn't want to come out to visit me unless it was me meeting her at the bus station in NYC and escorting her the whole way, and then the same back. She's gotten very insular in the past few years.

Then I had a party where she met some of my friends-who-are-not-related-to-her (most of her social circle is relatives) and.... she got a bit weird, didn't want to do much of the party activities (which was basically watch some bad movies and eat food).

Then I was telling her about Dragon*con and she didn't know anyone who was on the guest list except some of the comics artists.

And then she called it quits.

So... dunno. It got squirrely.

[silverthorne.livejournal.com]

That's still her and not you though. Not in the 'she didn't bother to get to know you' way, but in the 'not quite right in the social head' way. And I can say that because that's how I used to be, and what I've defaulted to at the moment while I finish figuring myself out and getting back what's me and not whatever I'd become to be what the ex wanted (or pretended to want).

Sounds like she isn't ready to leave the nest and prefers familiarity to finding her own way. And arguably, that's not an ectual mental problem, but she definitely isn't ready to stand on her own two feet and try new things.

And that, by no means, is your fault. (As in, you can't help that she had social problems. Or isn't ready. Or doesn't deal well with 'strangers'. Or whatever).

[mephron]

Yeah, my problems are a bit deeper and less defensible than that.

But the OK came in for 52 psych sessions friday night (and then tomorrow and wednesday I have off but that might not work too well, and thursday I go to visit a friend until Monday), so maybe I can work on that, too.

[silverthorne.livejournal.com]

As far as I'm concerned, if a person is aware of their problem, and actually tries to do something about it, rather than make excuses, then they're ok. Maybe a little unstable, unsure, whatever. But if you're at least trying to get a handle on it, then you're already lightyears ahead of the ones who know and don't bother--or, worse yet, don't want to bother and use it as an excuse for not living, so to speak. Or, you know, as a way to prey on other people with good hearts.

Seems to me you're fine in that regards. You know; you're trying to 'fix' it. It's all good. :)

*hugs*